Bradford Pearson

My Case For: Fall

Every Labor Day, people get pissed. Not like “oh man I scuffed my new sneakers” pissed, but “HOW COULD SUMMER BE GONE I’M GOING TO BREAK SOMEONE’S FACE” pissed.

The days get shorter and colder, and the tank tops and skirts of summer are replaced by the scarves and down vests of fall. Tans fade and beards grow.

Good.

I mean summer is great and all, but think about all the pressure that comes with it.

Beaches/swimming pools:
In the summer, people are forced to go to the gym (or at least think about it), lest they look bad in a bikini. In the fall, who cares if you go to the gym? No one sees you without your shirt on, and if they do it’s probably in the dark.

Sweating:
In the summer, you have to think about where you’re going, and whether or not you’ll sweat right through your t-shirt. In the fall, maybe you’ll still sweat through your t-shirt, but it will at least be covered with a sweater. Maybe this is just me, because I sweat on a cold day in February.

Mosquitos:
This is pretty simple.

Spring, summer: disgusting
Fall: none

Now this isn’t to say that I dislike spring, summer, and winter. In fact winter gives fall a pretty serious push for the “favorite season” crown. But when you stack all the seasons up against each other, fall seems to always come out on top.

Let’s review.

Spring
-taxes
-people being too cheerful
-those days where it’s 33 degrees and it pours

Summer
-humidity
-murder rate skyrockets
-overcooked hamburgers

Fall
-Oktoberfest beers
-my birthday (Nov. 4, e-mail me for my address to send presents/boxes full of money)
-Thanksgiving

Winter
-those days where it snows for an hour, then pours
-January is Cataract Awareness Month. I know everything about cataracts, so I find this month unnecessary
-the disappointment of the day after the Super Bowl, knowing football season is over

So, there it is. Most people hate fall, but I think I’ve proven pretty scientifically that it’s the best season.

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Posted by Bradford Pearson at 1:04 AM