Bradford Pearson

The KFC Double Down sandwich, or, The Apocalypse

Jim Gaffigan has a joke that goes something like this:

You know what’d be good on this burger? A ham sandwich. Instead of a bun, let’s use two donuts. That way we can have it for breakfast. Look out McGriddle. Here comes the donut-ham-hamburger!

A ridiculous idea, right? Wrong. Apparently, some crack-addict intern at Kentucky Fried Chicken heard Gaffigan's bit, thought "Hmmm" then created a sandwich that used TWO FRIED CHICKEN BREASTS INSTEAD OF BUNS.

A fat man's dream, a cardiologist's nightmare.

Okay, so here's the basic recipe: two fried chicken breasts, bacon, a slice of Swiss cheese, a slice of pepper jack cheese, and Colonel Sauce. Yes, the healthiest item on this sandwich is a sauce of unknown origin and flavor, and an indescribable color.

It's known as the KFC Double Down, and it's being piloted in restaurants (I use that term lightly) in Omaha, Nebraska and Providence, Rhode Island. Apparently Colonel Sanders thought the fine folks of both those cities needed a few more trips to the emergency room.

And now we come to the name: KFC Double Down. Is this some sort of play on down/feathers? Gambling?

Boss: "We need a name for this new sandwich. And Whopper is already taken."

Intern: "What about the Mother Clucker?"

Boss: "Get out of my office."

Intern doubles over in fear that he's just lost his lucrative chicken internship.

Boss: "Look at you, you're all doubled over down there. Doubled...down....there....EUREKA."