Bradford Pearson

My Case For: Roger Federer

For some reason, the American public- and tennis fans in general, I think- have grown to hate Roger Federer.

Despite not having an American worth a damn anymore (Andy Roddick and James Blake don't count, because, uh, they've been worthless in majors) American tennis fans have chosen not to root for the person who most closely physically resembles a white bread, down on the farm, middle class American: Federer.

Instead, some root for Rafael Nadal, and most just don't care about tennis anymore.

Now I usually hate Swiss people (I'm looking at you Henri Nestle, and your delicious chocolate), but I find this greatly disturbing, for a few reasons:

He has a normal looking girlfriend.


Now this is in no way a comment about my own girlfriend (who is a super fox), but instead a comment about the usual air-brained blondes who line the seats and luxury boxes at most sporting events. Again, my girlfriend is a super fox.

He gives hope to all men with dark, bushy eyebrows.


It's fair to say that my eyebrows are fit for a man with a much larger head than mine, maybe along the lines of an Andre the Giant or Jesse Ventura.

As a child I would lie awake at night and think, "If I only had smaller eyebrows, this tennis hobby I have could really turn into something." Then Federer comes and gives hope to men of bushy girth, asking nothing in return.

Uh, he has won 14 Grand Slam titles.

I'm pretty sure this speaks for itself.

Now the only thing I can think of that would dissuade people from rooting for Federer was this awful Gillette commercial he did with Thierry Henry and Tiger Woods:



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Posted by Bradford Pearson at 8:48 PM