Bradford Pearson

My Case For: Miller High Life

When I first moved to Maryland two years ago, I was (somehow) poorer than I am now.

Every Friday after work, I would stop at the local grocery store, Magruder’s, and pick up a 12-pack, usually in lieu of going out. And no matter what deals were at the store, or what fancy new beer with a shark on the bottle or lime in the recipe were at the end of the aisle, I would always come home with the same beer: Miller High Life.

My friends would laugh: tastes like urine blah blah blah this beer is disgusting blah blah blah. So I would sit there and enjoy them all (Not in one sitting. Usually.).

I would counter that if they could find a better beer at a more reasonable price than Miller High Life, I’d stop buying it. There were never any counter-arguments. Now this could’ve been because no one cared enough to argue with me, but I like to think it’s because they knew I was right.

I mean, c’mon, there’s a reason it’s been around since 1903, and it sure isn’t because the Miller family has some beer monopoly in the United States. It tastes good, it’s easy to drink, and it’s the Champagne of Beers for Pete’s sake. I could think of no higher compliment. Well, technically I suppose Pabst’s Blue Ribbon is a LITERAL higher compliment (earning a blue ribbon and all) but now we’re splitting hairs.

Some of you are going to say it's a cop-out that I'm defending a beer, since, in the end, every beer gets you to the same place. To you I say you've obviously never drank Icehouse, an indefensible beer.

And I know it’s hip for people my age to drink crappy beers like High Life and PBR to make themselves feel blue collar and ironic while they live off their parent’s money that also paid for their Swarthmore/ Williams/ Northwestern education (bitter much, Brad?), but, in all honesty, they aren’t actually that crappy at all. Maybe that’s the real irony in the end.

Or not. I've never really figured out the true definition of irony.



UPDATE: Apparently, the folks at GQ and Details stole my idea (two weeks before I thought of it) and have a poll online about the best blue-collar beers. So go and vote for the High Life!

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Posted by Bradford Pearson at 12:43 AM